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A Simualted Social Experiment

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Let's pick up where we left off.

The housemates, as yet, seemed mostly unconcerned with Ofc. Kauker's plaintive screams. It was just business as usual.

Exhaustion started to wear on our guest, until finally he could stay afloat no more. Goji managed to witness the futile struggle.

The reaper was quick to fulfill his duties. He checked his list. He didn't seem to like what he had seen, so he dialed his pretty pink cell phone in to the corporate office in Waukegan. You can see the video of this incident here. Apparently, this had already been a long day for Death.

Life returned to normal. We got our pool ladders back, and a nifty tombstone with Ofc. Kauker's name on it. But this day, I decided to become an even more vengeful god. I decreed that any Sim caught mourning the corpse of Ofc. Kauker would be put to death for treason against Scurvy Island.

Goji immediately trotted off to the grave site and started staring at the tombstone and making all these melancholy sighs. So, as is necessary to keep you people in check, I had to make an example of him. Goji took no notice of his impending doom... despite Molrak's warnings. I considered punishing Molrak for his show of pity, but after a minute or so he realized Goji was in another world and decided to play some pinball. I let it slide.

Here's a note folks... if your sim is in a co-ed house, and has either a family or popularity aspiration, he's going to be a total slut. At least these two are not crying over Ofc. Kauker's death. Somehow BlackWidow found out about this little indiscretion (which she really should be used to by now) and took it rather badly.

Goji promptly went insane.

Then Molrak made one mistake too many, and started mourning Kauker from the other side of the pool. I immediately summoned an army of Garden Gnomes to surround him, and he quickly realized his own personal hell had been loosed upon him.

Goji uncharacteristically refused to whizz in the pool. If you notice, I figured he might be getting hungry, so I tossed a rotting plate of food in his little pen. He wouldn't touch it, but I figured he'd break sooner or later.

The Sims seemed only slightly concerned for Molrak's life.

Day turned to night. Molrak's carpool (driven by someone who looks surprisingly like PirateQueenUrsa) arrived, and hung around for about a minute before driving off honking.

This pain is deserved, folks.

Remember, he'a a traitorous pigdog.

Goji decide to try the rancid food that was sitting next to a pool of his tepid urine, but wouldn't eat standing up. I was more than willing to restructure his pen to allow for it.

This is the face of regret. "What have I become!?!"

Molrak inexplicably blames Ladecker for his current situation.

The neighbors are called over so they can join in the freakshow. (NOTE: ThePerfectGirl hates us all now for some reason, and refuses to come over to the main house. She's the smart one.) BlackWidow greets Historychica. I mean really greets. Really really greets.

JasonFranklin remains his usual oblivious self.

Momo comes out to greet the other neighbors and welcome them inside, as BlackWidow continues to make a show of things.

Revenge is a dish best served to a concious enemy.

Goji fell asleep on his feet.

JasonFranklin dislikes BlackWidow now for some reason. Every time he looks at HistoryChica, he has a little "I hate BlackWidow" thought bubble. Maybe she's tainted his roommate??

PirateQueenUrsa lasted a whole 5 minutes before nude hot-tubbing this time.

JasonFranklin FINALLY saw something. Molrak did too, from his gnome prison. In the sweetest ScurvyIsland moment to date, Jason confessed his feelings to PirateQueenUrsa... and she confessed her feelings about clouds. Good enough I suppose, because they both got up and went home together.

The next patrons of the hot-tub were less reserved. BlackWidow and HistoryChica went underwater for a bit, and came back up with those little woo-hoo icons. I really hope she cleans that tub.

A new day, and another sim notices Ofc. Kauker's grave. I must say I was hesitant to kill myself off, but luckily this expression can hardly be considered grieving. Goji continues to wonder why no one cares about his torment.

At this point, I became aware of the fact that I hadn't paid the bills in several weeks. The Repo-man arrived, and promptly stole our couch. He started to take a nightstand too, but then a 6-foot tall rabbit showed up.

His name is the Social Bunny, and he came because Momo was feeling lonely. She lives with 7 other people, but no one really seemed to pay much attention to her... oops. She gives the bunny a hug, then jumps him. She used the headlock of doom, and it looked like she'd win the tussle... until she got booted onto her ass.

But Momo don't take that shit!

Goji passed out next to an oven I threw out there next to him hoping it'd catch fire, and Molrak's out on his feet.

Despite all this, life goes on as normal in the house.

In the end, my sim gets his just desserts... as he has turned one ex-love into a lesbian and has gotten his ass kicked publically by those he has scorned.

So that's where we leave our friends for the Season. Goji and Molrak wait to die for their crimes against the house. Gun is fairly hated by both the women he took advantage of, though he doesn't seem to mind too much. Momo is engaged in a desperate struggle against a rabbit that may or may not be a figment of her imagination. Pontifax is getting into a nasty girl-love filled hot tub, which he'll somehow manage to set aflame. BlackWidow and Historychica are thinking about getting their own place. ShadowOmega finally put some damn pants on. Ladecker hates pretty much everyone except Molrak who's bound to die anyway. JasonFranklin and PirateQueenUrsa are in love, either with each other or with clouds maybe.

And I'm pretty sure ThePerfectGirl moved out to go live with that weird neighbor girl who is afraid of ghosts.
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The finale of ScurvyIsland Season 1 was played Saturday night. It's going to take a few more days to get written up. A lot... lot happened. There was unexpected woo-hoo, revenge woo-hoo, fights, and more than a couple of deaths by execution. A fitting finale indeed.
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Fax charmed the ladies and pays the price. Gun beats FFVII.

Movie Clip!

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ScurvyIsland... we've missed you so!

Apparently, since the last time we visited the house, BlackWidow became a concert pianist. And I mean you should hear her... she's really good!

Fax and LADecker continue to pummel the hell out of each other. Nothing new there. And when LADecker turns to appreciate the concerto, we remember we all forgot how to bathe.

I called the neighbors over just in time for Fax to try to burn the house down.

The Fire Dept came.... again. And several more housemates went insane. The Doctor arrived again.... and Molrak decided he was a Wolfman when he started howling at the moon.

Next house, no stoves. Seriously.

How did the rest of us deal with the stress? Well, LADecker started conversing with Professor von Volleyball. Goji decided he should learn how to cook for himself. And others started to pig out... and remark about how much they smell.

I had to make people shower. They were screwing up the furniture.

Eventually we all calmed down and began discussing our various interests. Historychica is apparently fond of peace, while Pontifax enjoys the arts. Both of these I vehemently oppose.

It was while capturing this conversation that I noticed something strange.... can you spot it?

How about now?


Notice Franklin, again, not noticing nude hot tub time. He’s discussing a briefcase!

This is what kids look like when they walk into a candy shop filled with pornography.

I must wear those trunks under my pants. Sim me kept it pretty laid back in the hot tub. There was a splash fight, and I started to wonder if we were going to see a repeat of this infamous Gun/Franklin/Widow/Tara showdown from earlier an earlier Episode. I went to see where BlackWidow was, and surprise surprise! So much for the big fight showdown... or so I thought!

Sim me, surprisingly bored with my candy store so soon, decides it’s about time for bed. And my sim was going straight to his customary bed! Molrak apparently caught wind of this coming doom, as by the time my sim hit the second staircase, he was off leisurely job searching. There's so much deceit here... and apparently I hate the piano.

Molrak found the job opening of his dreams, and hurried to change for his coming work day. Doesn’t he look dapper?

ScurvyIsland’s newest security guard hustled off to work, and relatively little happened until he returned. I sent him to the phone with fingers crossed, and sure enough he had made some new friends at work. He invited a new acquaintance over.

That’s right. Officer Kauker. The jerk who broke up our party and told us we smelled bad. And as soon as he arrived, Shadow set the oven on fire. Fuck people, with the ovens! Ofc. Kauker proved to be a truly brave man.

The fire sent Molrak over the edge... again. But he had served his purpose. He had lured our enemy to our lair. Here’s the dialogue that followed.

"Boy this pool sure is wonderful. It’s like God’s pool!"

Wow, really? I’d better check it out!"

"Oh, look at the time. Gotta go!"

*runs away*

He should have been suspicious right there. See if you can notice the difference in these two pictures.

Picture 1

Picture 2

Ofc. Kauker didn’t notice... at first.

And that’s where we leave him for today. Our housemates callously live on their lives oblivious to Ofc. Kauker’s increasingly panicked pleas for help.

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So as you see from Pontifax's last post, the new season of ScurvyIslandPeninsula is in the works. I played the old game for a good 2 hours last night, and uploaded my screenshots for my update later today. It will be the penultimate chapter in the original ScurvyIsland season, as I had to quit for the night before the intended conclusion could be reached.

By this time next week, I assume the Fax will have a demonstrable new season... as if the intro wasn't good enough! I'm as intrigued as the rest of you as to what this season holds in store for the lot of us. Furthermore, I pledge that once the Fax has finished with this second season (whenever he decides he is finished that is) I will once again take up the reins and bring forth a third incarnation of this world.

The good news just doesn't stop, folks.

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We escaped, just barely, from Scurvy Island. Not even we were sure how we got away, and we regretted, for a brief moment of non self-absorbedness, that we had to leave some of them behind, but hey, as Iago said in Return of Jafar, "I'm lookin' out for me."

Life returned to normal back at HQ, as normal as things can get when Boss Goji's monthly trips to the pound constantly bring the real cops around our door, but Gun got back his dress and his sword, and he seemed happy enough.

We never spoke about Scurvy Island; in truth, after a while we forgot about it. There were new jobs for the Grammar Police, new internet smuggling rings to control, more and more Fashion Police everyday to combat. I started to think that maybe it never happened at all...

One sunny morning in May, I walked into Shadow's office.

"Did you get my memo?" I asked.

The glare she gave me was cold as a my bed at night, mean as the one-eyed viper Gun kept in his pants, more frightening than Boss Goji's obsession with fox-women, and more desperate to kill me than girls are to flee from Jasonfraklin's embrace.

"We're not doing this," she said, adjusting her beret.

"C'mon!" I said, "it'll be muy dorito!"

I barely missed becoming The Amazing Man With the Brick-Shaped Impression In His Face by ducking.

"Where'd you get a brick?"

"I have a bag of them, right here. Just for you, Fax," she said.

"So, cmon! Let's do it! Muy dorito!"

"Fax. You say that everytime. 'It'll be muy dorito!' News flash, Fax: It's never dorito! You always promise us dorito, but it's never dorito!"

I flashed a smile and left, knowing my work was done.

Sure enough, the very next morning, the entire crew of the Grammar Police showed up, prepared for the ocean cruise I'd planned aboard the S.S. Fish Shirt, a smallish boat, but more than enough to hold the fourteen of us who'd be taking this trip.

Shadow showed up first.

"What the hell are you wearing?" I asked.

"I saw Underworld last night. Kate Beckinsale vibrates my chassis. Deal with it, asshole," she said, complete with demonstrations that no man should ever have to see.

Boss Goji was next, and the laughing fit that ensued nearly ended the trip early.

"What?" he said, apparently taking no notice of his bright pink hat and wetsuit. "We're going on a boat. With Fax. We'll see who's laughing."

"Good point," said Shadow.

Gun lumbered down. "It's a coat, not a dress. So shut up." he said, walking past me onto the boat.

Larnce showed up next, wearing aviator goggles and a bright orange jumpsuit. There were no words.

The rest filed suit: Franklin, Tara, Jenn, the ever-enigmatic (but easy on the eyes) Tango, the equally visually pleasing Chrissy, Ashkta, Fin, Pope, and finally Momo.

Some were dressed for the trip like Tara with her grass skirt or Jenn taking the love of pirates to the next level. Then there were those who didn't seem to understand we were going on the water like Pope with his goddamned prom kilt or Ashkta who looked like she'd just come from a highly specialized 'naughty librarian' porn shoot.

Then there was Momo.

"So," I said, "Been to Austrailia recently?"

"No, why?" said Momo.

"Because you're wearing the Union Jack!"

It ended there and we were on our way. We never saw the storm coming, odd, considering that most of us had been struck by a very similar storm the last time we were out at sea. Having nothing to do but ride it out, Gun and I tried to throw Franklin overboard since he couldn't swim......


The travelers soon found themselves wrecked upon a deserted beach. Deserted save for three houses, one slightly larger than the other. Determined not to allow the attempted murders and scowls of his crew to ruin his mood, Fax, still wishing for Bullet Time, rushed into the largest house, claiming the master bedroom. Gun followed, scowling, but knowing who really would be having the master bedroom. Tara and Franklin decided to join Fax and Gun in the first house, as did Jenn and Tango.

Shadow and Boss Goji, determined never to set foot around Fax again, gladly took the second house. Larnce also shouted dibs on the second house as he returned to the wreckage for his insulin. Momo, Pope, Ashkta, Finlay, and Chrissy all hurried into the second house. When Larnce returned, he found that his only choice was to live out the rest of his days in his worst living hell: the same house as Fax.

As they settled in, the residents of the third house poked their heads out to view their new neighbors. Faces that, had anyone been looking, were oddly familiar. They were the faces of their abandoned companions: Molrak, Perfect, Widow, and Ladecker.

Time had changed the Scurvy castaways. Widow now ruled the roost with an iron fist, evidenced by her 'jacked up' new appearance. Perfect grew an even greater attachement to toiletries as seafaring vessels. Ladecker had scored some bitchin' new shades and Molrak had done the unthinkable: grew out his mullet.

For when the Fax and Gun had abandoned them, they set out to search for a way off the island by themselves. Along the way they encountered the mexican-wrestler-turned-farmer Poe and he joined up with them, having been stranded himself. It was too their horror when they realized they were not on an island...it had never been an island....


The families of Scurvy Peninsula.

In House One: The KwantumsCollapse )

In House Two: The WanksCollapse )

In House Three: The ScurvysCollapse )

xposted to my journal and kwantumwank
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A teaser trailer for the upcoming season of ScurvyIsland!
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Here's the plan... I want everyone to pick another sim they'd like to see their sim go on a date with. This can be one of their housemates, neighbors, or even one of the townies. Then, ancillary to the main episodes, we'll have little side jaunts where we can see how some of these pairs interact in a neutral setting away from the other housemates. Then we cross our fingers for public indecency!

Poll #588847 The Dating Game

Who should your sim date and why?

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